Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
