Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
