i think i have herpe
just one?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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