so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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