oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
