you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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