Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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