none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize