she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
