I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
