He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm determined to sit on that face.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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