Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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