Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
