I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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