Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
