its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Define "chronic" masturbator.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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