i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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