On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You're so nebulous sometimes
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
