he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
