their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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