He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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