dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
