Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
