Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
