From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
