and you said cock pushups were impossible
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
