Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I need moral support for this bender
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
