so explain again why im purple
no
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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