i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
