i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want to fling myself into the sun
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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