took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
