Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think your dad took our porno
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
