Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
