just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
