I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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