I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
