she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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