This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
