8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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