i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize