Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
