I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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