i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
