Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
