dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
