Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize