just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My ass is underappreciated
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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