And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
