im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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