is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
