Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
