Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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