no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
