I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
