I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize