forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
