I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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