u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
