On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
