I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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