Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
