I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
