I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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