oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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