Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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