He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
