it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
