I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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