Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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