brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
