My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
