im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They are going to name an STD after you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
