I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
