why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
